Privately Unhinged

Precious Little Uncursed by Knowledge Fashion, You do You Boo! My Relationship with Horror Talking About It Hi. My name is Olivia and I'm an Alcoholic Wearing PJs to the Dentist

Amicable, Temporary, Surprise Parental Divorce Bleach & Lemon Pledge Humbling Pajamas Papa Bear, Over and Out Perilous Pill-Popping

Authored by Kristi  For a time during the early 2000s, my parents lived within a half mile of me, my husband, and daughters. My dad and I would go for walks at 5a. each weekday. We had little, cheap walkie-talkies. We’d confirm our plans for walking. When he could no longer walk, we’d confirm my plan to come over for coffee with our walkie-talkies. “Papa Bear calling Baby Bear. Come in Baby Bear. Over.” “Baby Bear here. What time is coffee? Over.” “Same time as it always is. Over.” “(a snicker and smile) Baby Bear will have her ass there at the standard, agreed-upon time. Over.” “(snicker) Baby Bear better have her ass here at the agreed upon time or else the coffee will be cold. Over.” “No worries, I will. Baby Bear is over and out!” “Papa Bear. Over and out." Each morning for a while… not a minute past 6am… I used my key to open the front door. He was literally pouring my coffee–looking over his shoulder at me while he poured. As I crossed the living room to the kitchen, he p...

Authored by Olivia Watching distressed movie characters downing pills with a glass of wine had an impact on me. Before I ever tried alcohol, I understood that people used it for emotional regulation. It had not yet occurred to me that some people have the pleasure of regulating in other ways that don’t involve substances. I struggle with OCD, anxiety, depression, ADHD, and PMDD. When all of these combine, I’m thrown into a state of tension that is so strong I can’t physically move sometimes. But the second I sipped a strong drink, I felt every muscle and organ decompress from its previously rock-hard state. Unfortunately, I can’t stop after one sip.  In early 2023, I incurred a daily struggle of needing something to look forward to at the end of the day. I was comforted by the idea of getting numb after work. Then, when I was off work in the summer, my schedule no longer required that I wait to drink. Nor did my schedule require that I wake or sleep with any sort of regular schedu...

Authored by Olivia      Recently  I had to go straight from work to the dentist's office in my work outfit, which happened to be an extremely well-thought-out and detailed Pajama Day look. Emerald green sleep set with pink accent on the hem, slippers, robe, eye mask- everything. I love pajama day.      One other person is in the waiting room with me and she’s sitting across from me, facing me. Her eyes travel from my slippers to my robe with almost a concerned look. I roll my eyes about a million times because I’m no stranger to old people hating my looks. Even though today I had a very valid reason to be dressed in such a way. (I work at a preschool.)     S o I’m waiting, stewing in my rebellion of this lady’s disapproving gaze. “My God woman, where’s your childhood whimsy? Where’s your sense of wonder and fun?” I thought to myself, obsessively.         Those thoughts abruptly silence s he stands up and pu...