Talking About It

Authored by Olivia

When I quit drinking, I fully planned on keeping that to myself at work. Then, on my first day back to work, I was greeted with “Hi! How was your summer?” I immediately answered, “Good--I quit drinking.” I honestly hate the “how are you?” sentiment because I’m often worried and overwhelmed. That’s why I meditate. To snap me out of this state. 

 After attending an AA meeting, I realized I needed to be more open about my struggles. I’m a very honest person. I pride myself on telling the hard truth instead of the easy lies, but I still lie about my feelings. Things people can’t prove. 

I stand by the fact that asking how a person is is straight-up soliciting a lie. Most people asking that question don’t have time for the true answer, and that's okay. But when I’m clearly upset, and someone who I love asks if everything is okay, I should probably take that opportunity to be honest. 

The nature of mental illness can be pretty gruesome, but I think if people can talk about going to a urology appointment, I should be able to talk about going to therapy without feeling like I’m revealing something incredibly personal at work. 

That’s exactly why I do the hard work of desensitizing the people around me to mental health discourse. When people ask about my sleep, my reply is, “Chronic fatigue and depression aren’t fun, but sleeping is cathartic for me.” I don’t really have to say any of that, but it’s true, and I think it’s kind of beautiful any time someone is able to make lemonade out of the shit life hands to us. 

Don’t get me wrong, I would definitely prefer to not have any mental illnesses. I think my pain has made me more empathetic, and yet I still wish for less pain. But I am allowed to romanticize my own problems when I feel like being grateful. 

Expressing gratitude is especially helpful to the people who hear about my experiences with pain. There’s societal pressure to end on a high note, even if you have to make it up on the spot. This is insanely emotionally impactful for those of us who never set aside time to vocally express gratitude. 

There are a million reasons we should talk about this stuff, if not for those around us to learn but for us to process the reality of life.