Boo!!! My Relationship With Horror

Authored by Olivia         I have suffered badly from generalized anxiety for as long as I can remember. When I was little, my anxious thoughts were about school and random things like “How screwed would I be in a zombie apocalypse?” As I got older, my anxieties matured too. They’re far too complex to list now–and it takes far more mature themes to draw my attention away from them. Enter horror.

         Horror movies/ TV shows are one of the most valuable tools I have for self-regulation.  Screaming is a sound that can successfully drown out everything that I was just worrying about.

        The first horror movie I saw in a theater was the Carrie remake (2013) with my mom. I had just started reading scary short stories online and felt drawn to the art. I loved mildly creeping myself out, but it wasn’t until much later that I learned to enjoy that jolt of electricity that shoots through your blood and resets your parasympathetic nervous system when you get jump-scared.

        When I first started seeing horror in theaters, I would wear a big sweater to hide behind. Now, when I see a horror film, I try not to blink, hoping to feel that rush of natural chemicals. 

        I’ve had the pleasure of seeing a lot of good horror movies in theaters. The Shining, both IT movies, Get Out, Us, Midsommar, Talk to Me, Evil Dead Rise, and The Blackening, to name a few. 

        I have also seen a lot of bad horror. I do not care to analyze the quality of the art of a horror movie. I don’t expect everything that I watch to entertain me AND scare me AND also be good. That’s honestly asking way too much. 

        As a kid, I would never have guessed that my world would change so much that I would grow to enjoy recreationally scaring myself.